Connect with us

REFRESH Magazine

God

Finding God Through Heartbreak

by Jessica Starks

“Then the LORD your God will restore your fortunes. He will have mercy on you and gather you back from all the nations where he has scattered you.” –  Deuteronomy 30:3

 

“Praise the LORD who has given rest to his people Israel, just as he promised. Not one word has failed of all the wonderful promises he gave through his servant Moses.” –  1 Kings 8:56

 

I found God for myself when I was 19-years-old, in the midst of the most turbulent time of my life. But my journey to Him started at the age of 17.

Seventeen was the year I met my first love, the guy of my dreams. I was young, naïve and had never dated anyone ever in my life. He was mature, laid back and fun. I thought I had it made. A casual conversation led to a casual friendship, which led to casual dating, which led to a full-blown relationship, and one of the biggest mistakes of my life two years later.

I remember that day – that was the day that God screamed, “No!” as the most precious thing he ever gave me, I passed on to my first love. I thought it was butterflies – it was God trying to protect me, but I didn’t listen. I thought everything was okay, “We’ll get married soon anyway,” I thought.

So I thought.

What I didn’t know was that the same week I gave him my gift, two other girls gave him the same gift. The only difference between me and those girls? They conceived.

What was his response when I asked? “Let’s just be friends.”

I was completely crushed. I loved him. I thought he loved me. And it only took four words to throw it all away. Not only was I crushed, but I was now damaged goods. No one would want me. What would I have to offer anyone at this point?

It was at this time that God gave me a spiritual mirror. This mirror showed the image of a young woman who was naïve, had a lack of self-esteem and was just bamboozled by someone. It was not a pretty sight. He said, “Jessica, this is who you are and what you have done. It is now up to you to decide how you will move on from this and which direction you will go in.”

At 19, I entered a depression that would last me almost two years. It was during this time that God and the devil were fighting over me. I could literally hear them going back and forth in my head about guilt and redemption. It drove me crazy, and it took me those two years to open up and talk to someone else about it.

When I was 21, God told me, “You can’t continue to hold onto this. Don’t be Lot’s wife.”

Since then, I haven’t looked back.

I am now happy, successful and removed from the guilt of my past. Of course, Satan likes to try to pester me with thoughts of the past and my mistakes, but I keep these two verses in mind:

“Then the LORD your God will restore your fortunes. He will have mercy on you and gather you back from all the nations where he has scattered you.” –  Deuteronomy 30:3

“Praise the LORD who has given rest to his people Israel, just as he promised. Not one word has failed of all the wonderful promises he gave through his servant Moses.” –  1 Kings 8:56

These verses remind me that, no matter where I’ve been or what I go through now, God’s promises never fail, and as long as I depend on Him, there’s nothing I can’t come back from or conquer!

Spread the love
Continue Reading
You may also like...
Jessica Starks

Jessica Starks is a Social Media & Content Strategist, as well as a blogger at The Pen & the Needle. When Jessica isn’t working, she loves reading,
writing, and watching old movies. Jessica’s goal is to inspire other Christians to push forward and pursue Christ.

More in God

To Top